Category: Family Therapy
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Co-Parenting After Separation: Getting It Right for the Children
Introduction The handover is at five, at the Engen on the corner, because neither of you can face the other’s front door yet. Your daughter gets out with her school bag and a packet of clothes, and in the thirty seconds while she walks from one car to the other, she is watching both of…
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The Loss Nobody Talks About: Miscarriage and Grief
Introduction You were nine weeks. You’d told almost nobody, because that’s the rule, so almost nobody knows there’s anything to be sad about. On Monday you went back to work. Somebody asked how your weekend was and you said fine, thanks, and asked about theirs. There was a scan photo on your phone that you…
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When One of You Is Autistic: Making a Relationship Work Across Two Wiring Diagrams
Introduction She says he doesn’t listen. He says he listens to every word, and can repeat them back, which somehow makes it worse. He says she never tells him what she wants. She says she tells him constantly, and that she shouldn’t have to spell out that a sigh at the sink at nine o’clock…
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Meltdown or Tantrum? How to Tell, and Why It Matters
Introduction Aisle four, Checkers, ten past five. Your seven-year-old is on the floor. Not crying so much as roaring, arms going, shoes off, and a woman by the yoghurts is giving you the look. Someone’s mother once told you that a child like this needs a firm hand. Your own mother has views too. And…
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Why You Can’t Stop People-Pleasing
Introduction You said yes again. To the fourth committee. To the lift to the airport at half past four in the morning. To the extra bit of work that landed at ten to five on a Friday, from the colleague who always seems to find you. And somewhere between the word leaving your mouth and…
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School Refusal: When Your Child Can’t Face the Gate
Introduction It usually starts with a tummy ache. Sunday night, just after supper. Then again on Monday morning, worse this time, with tears. You keep them home, because what else do you do with a child who says they feel sick? By ten o’clock they’re fine. Bright, even. By Sunday night it’s back. The GP…
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Why Teenagers Don’t Ask for Help
Introduction Almost every parent I’ve sat with after a crisis has said some version of the same sentence. “I had no idea.” They’re not careless parents. They’re attentive, loving people who ate supper with their child every night of the thing they didn’t know was happening. That’s the difficult truth about teenagers and mental health:…
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Be as Kind to Yourself as You Are to Everyone Else
Introduction Think about how you spoke to yourself this week. The email you sent with the typo in the first line. The meeting where you said the wrong thing, which you then replayed at two in the morning. The moment you snapped at your child over nothing, and spent the rest of the evening filing…
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My Teenager Won’t Talk to Me: What’s Normal, and What Helps
Introduction “Fine.” That’s the whole report on a day that lasted eight hours. How was school? Fine. What did you do? Nothing. Who were you with? People. Then the bedroom door closes, the headphones go on, and the child who used to tell you every detail of every break time on the drive home might…
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Why You Keep Having the Same Relationship
Introduction Different person. Different city, sometimes. Same ending. People notice this eventually, usually somewhere around the third time, and the conclusion they reach is almost always about their taste in partners. If I could just stop choosing this type. It’s rarely the choosing. It’s what happens at a very particular moment: the moment when something…
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Psychological Support for LGBTQI+ Teens in Cape Town: Helping Them Navigate Identity
Introduction So many parents who contact me about this start by apologising for not knowing the right words. You don’t need the right words. You need to be someone your teenager can talk to, which is a lower bar than it feels like, and a far more important one. Psychological support for LGBTQI+ teens –…
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ADHD Therapy in Cape Town: A Complete Guide for Adults, Teens and Parents
Introduction If you have landed on this page, there is a good chance you are somewhere in the middle of a long question. Perhaps your child’s school has raised the same concern for the third term running. Perhaps your teenager is bright, articulate, and quietly falling apart. Perhaps you are forty-two, successful on paper, and…
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When You and Your Child Both Have ADHD: Navigating Neurodivergence as a Family
When You and Your Child Both Have ADHD – Introduction It often starts with your child. A teacher raises a concern. An assessment reveals ADHD. You sit in the feedback session, listening to the psychologist describe the symptoms, and something unexpected happens. You stop hearing your child’s story and start hearing your own. The difficulty…
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Late ADHD Diagnosis in Women: Why So Many Women Are Only Finding Out Now
For as long as you can remember, you have felt like you were working twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up. You have lists for your lists. You have spent years battling what you thought was anxiety, or depression, or simply not being disciplined enough. You have been called scattered, oversensitive, or…
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ADHD as a Superpower: Why Neurodiversity Is a Strength, Not a Limitation
Introduction What if the traits we label as “problems” in ADHD are actually signs of a brain built for a different kind of brilliance? What if new science is showing signs of ADHD as a superpower? For decades, ADHD has been framed almost entirely through a lens of deficit: difficulty focusing, impulsive behaviour, restlessness, disorganisation.…
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The Importance of Self-Compassion in Mental Health
Introduction We are often our own harshest critics. When something goes wrong, the inner voice that speaks up first is rarely kind. It tells us we should have known better, that we are not enough, that we deserve the pain. For many people, this self‐critical pattern runs so deep it feels like the truth rather…
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Healing During and After Divorce: How Therapy Supports Your Journey
Introduction Divorce is often described as one of life’s most stressful transitions. It’s not just the end of a marriage – it’s the unraveling of routines, identities, and dreams once shared. For many, it brings grief, anger, confusion, and fear of the unknown. Therapy offers a safe, structured space to process these emotions, rebuild confidence,…
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The Importance of Emotional Intimacy in Marriage
Emotional intimacy is the quiet, steady connection that holds a marriage together. It’s what allows you to feel seen, heard, and understood by your partner – not just in the big moments, but in the everyday details of life. Without emotional intimacy, couples can begin to feel distant, even while living side by side. Conversations…
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How to Navigate Relationship Challenges with Therapy
Every relationship, no matter how strong, will face challenges. At times, it may feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages – one trying to be heard, the other feeling misunderstood. Conflict, distance, or emotional disconnection can leave both partners feeling frustrated and unsure of how to move forward. As a counsellor, I…
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Breaking Free from Codependency | Finding Your Way Back to Yourself
Case Study: When Love Becomes a Lifeline Names and identifying details have been changed to protect client confidentiality. Sandra, 58, came to therapy after her daughter Leigh, 32, relocated for work to another city and Sandra hadn’t left the house in three weeks. To outsiders, they had always seemed exceptionally close: daily calls, shared finances,…
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Trauma Bonds in Relationships: Why They Form and How to Heal
Many people ask themselves why they can’t walk away from relationships that consistently hurt them. The answer often lies in trauma bonds: powerful emotional attachments that keep us tied to someone, even when logic tells us to leave. These bonds are not love in its healthiest form; they are rooted in fear, dependency, and survival…
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Creating Healthy Boundaries After Abuse
When you’ve been abused, one of the hardest – and most important – parts of healing is learning how to set healthy boundaries. Many teens and adults I work with tell me they feel unsure, guilty, or even “selfish” when they try to say no or express their needs. If that sounds familiar, you’re not…
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Dealing with CPTSD After Trauma – Finding Safety, Strength, and Support
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) can feel exhausting, confusing, and deeply isolating. To add to that confusion, CPTSD has only been formally recognised within the last decade, but it’s very, very real. Unlike a single traumatic event which may trigger PTSD, CPTSD often develops after long-term or repeated trauma – like emotional neglect, ongoing abuse,…
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Family Therapy Isn’t Just for Families and Couples in Crisis
When you think of family therapy, do you imagine it’s only for emergencies? Like, when couples are on the verge of breaking up. Arguments escalate to where they seem beyond repair. When your family members seem to be living like strangers – or worse, enemies, in the same house. While you may be right that…
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Helping Kids With ADHD Do Life: A Parent’s Guide
Helping kids with ADHD do life. As a counsellor, and as someone who has walked this journey in my own extended family, I know how overwhelming it can feel to raise a child or teenager with ADHD. Sometimes they can delight you with their spark, creativity, and energy. But on other days, you feel annoyed…
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Mental Health Support for Teens – Building Resilience in a Changing World
Remember being a teenager? It was tough, right? And to think, we often reminisce over how times felt simpler then. That’s not just nostalgia talking. Teens today are facing a more complex world than ever before. That makes helping your teen a bigger challenge than ever before, and makes mental health support for teens more…